True Ongoing Story

My wife has a lifelong friend, Betty. They have been friends for like 25 years. Betty used to teach, but moved up the ladder into the admin section of the public education system. First, school secretary, then assistant principal, now principal.

She now works in a school district some twenty miles away, making probably 90-100k. The schools have excellent insurance. Good thing too because her husband is the luckiest living sombitch on the planet.

He is now on total disability. I am unclear whether it’s Social Security, or some type of insurance through where he used to work. Anyway Ryan stays home all the time now.

He and Betty are both heavy drinkers. They both love beer and Betty often brings her own bottle of wine with her when she goes ‘visiting’.

They used to stop over from time to time and they always brought their ice chest with a twelve pack, and would heavily dent that during their visit, and we knew not how long they had been out drinking elsewhere already.

7 or 8 years ago, I am not sure exactly, Ryan had a pancreas and kidney transplant. He has his surgery done in Galveston. I think he was circling the toilet while he was there waiting for a donor.

He finally had the surgery done, healed up, and came home.

Did he stop drinking? No.

At least a twelve pack of beer each and every day. And, from what I understand, he spends two – three days every other week in ICU at death’s door. I kid you not, his blood sugar drops so low that they call an ambulance and haul his ass to whatever hospital will tolerate him.

Additionally, Ryan is a total fucking asshole patient. I have yet to see this side of him, but I have heard that he is a doctor and nurse’s absolute worst nightmare to deal with. He hates everyone in the hospital; doctors, nurses, orderlies, you name them, he swears at them. His physical condition is such that normal drugs and procedures have little effect on him, his treatment usually requires unorthodox methods.

I am fairly certain that he has since had another transplant; of which organ I do not know.

We went over for their daughter’s graduation party when she got her degree. I sat next to him and went head to head drinking from 3-10:30. He never slowed down.

Betty got really smashed and fell down at least three times that I know of.

They have a really nice red brick house; huge back yard with a pool gazebo, and seven bbq pits including one of those green egg things. They have some electronic gizmo tied into their TV, stereo, and internet that is voice activated. “Hey, Annabelle! Change radio station to some classic rock!”

He actually is quite interesting to talk to as he has been involved with all kinds of shit that a normal person would find unbelievable.

For example; he and Betty own an acre of land out in the country. It’s a rural setting but has some highway frontage. They drive by it from time to time and one of these trips, there was a guy putting up a fence on their property.

They pulled over and stopped to talk to the guy. Now Ryan is smart as hell and deviously clever. He walked up to the trespasser and played dumb.

The trespasser kept on working cheerfully while talking to Ryan, admitting that his property next door was soon to have horses, and was going to run them on Ryan’s property as well.

Ryan waited until the fence was up and then told them to get the hell off his property. He got the sheriff involved too and now has his property fenced on three sides and charges the neighbor to allow his horses on his property.

He used to work for the local Ford dealership and they got involved with a  huge scandal. One of the employees was taking those huge beer trucks, not the semi, the non trailer types, get what they called a “quick title”, and sell them into Mexico.

That particular employee used that money to finance his drug smuggling operation, for which he finally got busted and is now a three time loser. I know the guy, we went to church together. Jeez!

Betty dropped 25 grand last summer on ‘fat reduction’ surgery. She is thinner, but drinking all that beer, she will get it all back. She is eligible to retire, and my wife and I think that she doesn’t retire because she doesn’t want to be home every day all day with Ryan.

Now, their daughter. She just graduated with a degree, but I think she’s around 30. She has had a drug problem most of her life (gee, I wonder where she learned that). She joined the Marines, and got dishonorably discharged because of, yeah you guessed it, drug charges.

She is currently working on her masters in…drug rehab.

She recently had a baby, there is no father involved and she has not divulged who that is. She has her own place, but spends a lot of her time at mom and dad’s. She also gets $400 a month for food stamps.

The son is older. This guy is a son to be proud of. He is a computer whiz. He is now IT Director of a local university. He is smart as hell, and one of the nicest guys one would ever meet.

Betty and the daughter are like partners in crime. On weekends, they go everywhere together, and now the daughter drags her baby around too. Betty is always looking for a place to land where she can drink. The daughter does not drink; well, only vodka. They play electronic poker at the VFW, and from there whoever will let them in.

They dropped in here on Valentine’s Day with another friend at 11:30 am. They woke up my wife (who sleeps late when she can like a ritual), and stayed until almost seven. Betty sent her daughter out for groceries and returned with ribeyes, fajitas, pork and beef riblets, jalepeno poppers, chips with queso dip, and more.

All I had to do was fire up the bbq and cook all this while the ladies drank my wine and beer. Oh, they called and invited another friend over too and his wife.

My wife does not drink, and they pretty much shamed her into drinking with them. She lasted until about 2:00 and I had to pour her into bed as she was totally shitfaced and incapable of conversation. She managed to sleep it off and got up just before the rest of them left.

The daughter and Betty were the last ones to leave, and Betty was wasted enough to be belligerent and refused to go. We finally started packing up going back inside and she finally left.

We got a text later from the daughter saying that her mother kicked her out swearing at her for making her leave early.

It takes all kinds, don’t it?



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