I read a lot of posts around and many say congratulations to those dads who stuck around.
I stuck around, although I could no longer live with their mother.
I spent a month every year with my boys after I moved to Texas, and every other Christmas they spent with me. Yeah, it cost a fortune with 100 grand of child support, and flying the boys back and forth from Denver to RGV Texas for 11 years.
I used to call them every Sunday to keep up with whatever they were doing, until they began working, then it was hit and miss, so I stopped calling.
When they visited Dad, they got to go to the beach, learned to shoot at the indoor range, swim in the family pool, BBQ party every weekend when they were down, both boys birthdays together with their Uncle and Aunt around as well.
Full blown internet and Play station, and Xbox later were available.
Now? it’s just past noon, and I just got a text from my oldest.
I am certain he is gearing up to head over to his mother’s and give dear ol’ “stepdad” his card and/or gift. His mother would have it no other way.
I am fairly certain that their mother kicked out my youngest from her (my) house when he graduated high school, and that’s why he joined the Air Force.
With her $800 plus a month child support gone, she returned to being bitter even though she remarried.
I’ll never know what was said about me over the years to my boys; I never asked; they never volunteered.
My stepdaughter treats me with more respect than my own boys.
I have invited them both to the ranch at their discretion when they have vacation or leave, but their mother trumps anything I offer.
My oldest just turned 26 yesterday, and I sent him $250 cash, and a very nice Swiss Army Huntsman pocketknife. I tracked the package, and he did not acknowledge it until I texted him happy birthday yesterday.
The same package will go to the youngest as well, now stationed in Arizona.
I received texts from both boys on my BD on the 12th..a text.
I called them, and then found out that my oldest had quit his job, and gotten a new one…months ago.
I talked to my youngest to find out that he is getting deployed to Camp Lemonnier in East Africa in September. He never was much at a phone conversation in the past, and I was cut off after a few minutes because he was going in to “get a haircut”.
Man, I guess I am officially out of the loop.
The hold on them that their mother has is unbelievable. She is a master on laying on guilt, and I am glad they turned out as well as they did, given her obvious sustained bitterness.
Father’s Day and Mother’s day were not treated with as much exuberance as a birthday as I was growing up, but we still got together with gifts and cards while Mom was alive. After she was gone, I never celebrated Mother’s day again, much to Dad’s new wife’s chagrin…that’s another story.
Now, more than ever, it seems that every single day is like the one before; aside from a once every 30 year freeze, and an occasional scorpion, one day is pretty much like the next.