X’s Militia Application Form

Ever think about “86ing” an FBI agent?

Have you ever felt compelled to “shoot willy nilly” at the IRS?

Does your trigger finger twitch when you hear the latest on the bullshit FBI raid on Trump’s home?

Have you ever felt “cornered” by unwanted Federal officials on your property, but had no recourse?

Have you ever had your home raided by dozens of FBI agents, but felt you were too outnumbered to make a stand?

Have you ever found yourself gripping your steering wheel with white knuckles when listening to anything concerning the United Nations?

Did you ever watch a group of Federal Bureau of Underwear agents go through your wife’s (or yours) underwear drawer, as they sniffed their way to the bottom? and wanted to give ’em all a “good clip around the ears”?

Have you ever wanted to load mag after mag and empty them into oncoming groups of newly trained IRS agents?

Have you ever thought about unloading a full auto shotgun at a Federally owned black suburban loaded with slugs and double ots?

Have you ever really wanted to test out the “double tap” theory?

Have you ever wanted to sit and empty a 10,000 round mag of mini gun ammo into a group of advancing Federal agents?

Ever had a fleeting thought of tossing a grenade into a Federally occupied black suburban to watch the rats jump out really really fast? Then set them on fire?

Have you ever wanted to be a part of a secret organization that offs its enemies one at a time, from a perpetually updated list?

Ever watched a group of Federal agents raiding an innocent’s home, and say to yourself “I wish I could set those people on fire”.

Ever wondered what you’re gonna do with that 7mm Remington Magnum BDL that you bought 50 years ago at Montgomery Ward?

Ever wanted to fill to overflow your tactical vest with loaded mags, and wait in stealth for the “kill order”?

Ever wondered what to do with that Solothurn 20mm anti tank rifle you got in the mail in the 60s?

Ever felt like you should be an integral part of a secret organization where each member has his/her target assigned, and is responsible for “taking it out?” with little or  no danger of being caught?

Ever wondered if covering an APC with flammable liquids will roast the inhabitants thereof?

If you answered “yes, hell yeah, or fuckin’ A!” to any of these questions, you’re pre-approved!

Let T.A.G. begin!

30 thoughts on “X’s Militia Application Form

  1. 1 – Belt fed over magazines
    2 – Grenade launcher over machine gun

    Back in 2010 in Afghanistan I got stuck at a OP that was 350 yards from the Pakistani border. The Army was shutting it down and moving 10 miles away. They were emptying the freezer in the chow hall where we had steaks with shrimp, crab legs, or lobster for two meals a day for over two weeks. I never thought I would get sick of surf and turf. The commanding officer was a Army Master Sargent and there were only 2 squads on the OP. I learned to take a shower with 2 to 3 liters of water there. I learned how to defuse a Chinese mortar there. It was outside the container I was living in one morning. They had 10 times the ammo than what they needed. I got to shoot the sniper rifle where I matched the sniper Sgt shot for shot 22 out of 24 attempts. I was given great latitude on their range. I spent a day blowing off 7.62 out of a Russian AK then two days blowing off 5.56 in a M4 when they turned me loose on the M249 belt fed SAW. I had the barrel cherry red a couple of times that day with no malfunctions. I had another day with a A3 M-16 with a grenade launcher. They only let me shoot the smoke grenades. I graduated to the Mk-19 the next day. I got quite good with it. I probably shot $10k of ammo that week. This is also the OP where I got shot by a shithead who was on the Paki side of the border. The 7.62 round had lost almost all of its energy. It was like getting shot by a paintball. It didn’t beak the skin but left me with a blue/black welt for a couple of weeks. I still have the bullet. That was a weird year in my life.

      • I have a working 1″ smooth bore brass cannon with a 6″ barrel. It is a desk trinket I received as a gift from one of my technicians back in the late 90’s. He had a forge and would smelt brass to build these miniature cannons as a hobby. It came with a brass monkey filled with lightweight alloy cannon balls, fuse, and a miniature keg of powder. To be a smooth bore it was very accurate at 25 feet. Back in the 90’s he was selling them for $1600 and was producing one about every 3 weeks. He did make some a bit larger.

      • You can make quite serviceable BP cannon using drill pipe or high-strength steel piping. You can cast a bronze or brass sleeve around the outside, or sweat some other pipe on the outside for extra strength. Breeches can be either screwed (bonus points by having multiple breeches for pre-loading as it is what many early breech loaders were designed for) or welded and drilled and basically muzzle loaded.

        Sure, yeah, already made ones are really fantastic, but those companies have records. Records which the Fibbies and ATFags can get ahold of.

        Not a lot of people care what you do with that load of surplus pipe and metal chunks.

  2. This post reminds me of a book I recently read. It is a fiction book from 1996, so some of it is a little dated. The main character has a Solothurn 20mm anti tank rifle he got in the mail in the 60s. The book is “Unintended Consequences” by John Ross. It was an ebook, but I don’t remember for sure where I found it. Might have been on Smashwords. It fits this post nicely.

  3. If I were dishing out punishment for the Federal Panty Patrol people, each and every one of them would be required for 3 months to launder and fold Hillary’s undergarments. The cost for stain remover would be deducted from their pay checks. On those nights when she is drunk they will have to draw straws to see who gets to remove her panties.

  4. Ah… For fun and entertainment go look up 19th Century poacher traps. Basically ‘pistol’ shotguns you plant in the ground and hook up trip wires. Wire will pull the ‘gun’ in the direction of the tripper and then fire.

    Lots and lots of things one can do that are legal. Like, all those traps you’re going to use one of these days, well, you have to try them out, in your leaf-covered yard, when, coincidentally, the Fibbies or ATFags are coming…

    Pure speculation, thinking of writing a book, not actually planning on doing anything, of course, just in case Joe Snitch is reading this…

    • The Vietnamese had a solution for people trying to stealth infiltrate a place over semi open ground and on trails. There’s all kinds of area denial weapons that don’t depend on gun powder. Caltrops dipped in human shit work just as well as punji sticks, among other things.

    • Booby trap ideas are always welcome.
      We have several small ‘forests’ here on our property; enough to make a tanglefoot with barb wire, or just run some barb wire through around the trees…perhaps sharpened sticks poking out of the ground…

  5. Damn, when you fed post, you fed post! I like it! “Solothurn 20mm anti tank rifle” against a fed black suburban… and a Molotov cocktail for a chaser, epic!

    • .45-70 will do a number to a Burban as long as it’s not uparmored.

      Most that are uparmored are only uparmored to Level III+, which is good enough for 9mm or other pistol calibers, and 7.62×39 (AK and such) but not 5.56mm or above. That’s Level IV but that won’t stop .30-06 AP, and won’t reliably stop .30-06 Ball.

      So, well, firing ball ammo out of any high-power rifle will do in most ‘armored’ vehicles. Bronze core penetrators for use in Africa WILL punch through almost all armored vehicles on the road, including bank cars, that Lenco Bearcat armored vehicle…

      Then, of course, firing AP ammo out of your .50BMG will stop just about anything. Going with a Soloturm or a Lahti or equivalent will stop all domestic police armored vehicles short of the President’s super limo, unless they have some armored car based on an M8 Greyhound or a Cadillac/Gage 1000series Commando.

      Same goes with ‘bullet proof vests’ and ‘rifle plates.’ Most even LVL IV stuff won’t stop dedicated AP ammo or good ball ammo, and why exactly are you aiming center mass at invaders anyways. Face shots, crotch shots, blow the legs off, hit the arms. If you do shoot a vest, do it with frangible or jacketed ammo and aim for the upper chest as the splash of the jacket or frangible will go up and splatter the throat, a very disturbing if not debilitating shot.

      Again, just sheer speculation…

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