Joke Of The Day…Sunday

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, “Give me one last request, dear,” he said to his wife. 


“Of course, John,” his wife said softly. 


“Six months after I die,” John said, “I want you to marry Bob.” 


“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said.. 


With his last breath John said, “I do!”

Joke Of The Day For Friday

A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”
The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”
The man replied, “My wife is going to poison me.”
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”
The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s going to poison me. What should I do?”
The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”
A week later the Rabbi calls the man.
He says, “I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?”
The man said, “Yes” and the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.” 

Politically Correct?

*IN RESPONSE TO ALL RECENT
E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:*

PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK
AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS
ABOUT HIM.

YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING
BURKAS,

TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,

TWENTY PEOPLE WEARING JEREMY
CORBYN T-SHIRTS,

TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC
BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES,

FOUR JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES,

TWO MORMONS,

NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS
HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS,

THREE MUSLIMS AND A PAKISTANI
TAXI DRIVER.

BUT, FOR THE LAST TIME. . .

*THIS DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!*